If conflict is a beer bottle hitting the mirror over the bar then perhaps these telltale signs are to subtle. But by conflict we mean behaviors resulting in less that optimal cooperation – stress in other words, then there are clearly signs we should recognize.

Depending on the people involved simply the act of avoiding each other is a conflict is brewing tip off. Naturally making threats is a sign that all is not right and that if things keep going the way they’re going something bad is going to happen!

Below are some workplace conflict resolution posts - events you may want to take notice of – where a lot more is covered than the role of facial expressions an behavior.

While we have to recognize the presence or potential of conflict before we can do something about it, we also need to know what, in terms of workplace conflict resolution strategies we should employ. Here are some.

• Win Us » Workplace Conflict Resolution: What s Creating Workplace … – HOME Win Us Click on the network recorded live! Replaceable Text Workplace Conflict Resolution: What. Dig It   |   Add To Del. A radio interviewer recently asked me if I thought there was more conflict in the workplace today than in the past.

• Workplace Conflict Resolution Begins With Identification of … - When you think of conflict – what do you think of first, the cause or the effects? When you think about workplace conflict – what comes to your mind first – discomfort, embarrassment, tears, agitation, & frustration, or money being …

• Registration now open for March conflict resolution retreat – A few more posts on this topic:. March 2009 conflict zen retreat; Your next step: reserve your retreat lodging; Conflict Zen retreats; Events; Upcoming workplace conflict resolution events.

• Workplace Conflict Resolution Strategies – Workplace conflict resolution strategies may seem like an esoteric topic for a consultant to write on, but I want to share a secret with you: sometimes there’s conflict—boatloads of internal conflict—that gets in the way of employees …

Technorati Tags: Conflict in Workplace, Workplace Conflict Resolution

If you remember the often quoted phrase from Lewis Carroll in his treatise on real life, Alice in Wonderland, “I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant” then you know what it’s like when something you said gets taken out of context and reinterpreted – creating conflict where none was intended.

How many times have you had a thought or a feeling, based on a comment received – which you naturally screened through your own automatic filter “what did he mean by that”, in an attempt to sort what was said from what you think was meant?

It seems that every inbound communication is subject to interpretation beyond the actual words used based on your history with the person involved, your mood, their attitude, and your perception of what you think they believe is it for them.

This instantaneous decoding formula, applied to every communication uniquely, creates a filter on the fly that allows you to respond in the way you feel will be most accurate under the circumstances.

Whether or not you actually interpreted what they said and what they meant – remember the old expression “garbage in garbage out” – determines whether you actually understand how you should respond to them.

When I have a thought or a feeling and attempt to communicate it with someone else I use the words I think, based on my automatic screening process, accurately communicate what I want them to hear.

Naturally the interference that results – between  what I think my words mean, their screening process decoding their interpretation of the words based on how I have used them before and what they typically mean, and what each of us are expecting it all to mean – really makes me wonder how we are ever able to actually carry on a meaningful conversation.

Since 99.99% of our communications are meaningless the effects of this multidimensional instantaneous two way screen, encode, transmit, receive, decode, screen, understand process – does not matter a lot.

If we are talking about last night’s ball game or next week’s party – we will take the time to sort out our communications until we are all clear about what’s being said.

Unfortunately our workplace communications have the additional baggage associated with our past relationships of cooperation, competition, and our natural desire to get over on the other person. The resulting miscommunications lead to conflict which leads to a reduction in our individual, team, and organizational effectiveness.
             
Is there a simple way to defuse the resulting conflicts in workplace? Is it necessary that every miscommunication related conflict be dealt with on purpose in a formal way? Or do we need an informal “workplace conflict resolution” process? On the other hand do we need any kind of conflict resolution process at all? As always, it depends.

Ideally we would respond diplomatically and tactfully where we feel a simple explanation of what we are trying to communicate seems to be making the other person uncomfortable. Asking them to repeat back to you what they heard to make sure they are actually hearing what you meant is a simple and yet very effective diffuser of future conflict.

Do they even care about what you’re saying? And how can you deal with the person without further igniting an already volatile situation? Your own answers to these questions will tell you whether a next step beyond more clearly defined discussion points are likely to be required.

For some of us it is more difficult than others to respond diplomatically, tactfully and respectfully when there seems to be a misunderstanding brewing – we expect them to try harder to understand what we’re getting at.

If handled correctly a simple willingness to open up and at least share responsibility for being better understood may be the most dynamic and powerful tool you can use when communicating with a coworker. Typically, individuals are more likely to respond to a respectful approach better than any other.

It is well documented that when each party to a communication really wants to clearly understand what the other person means by the words they are using – where these two people share goodwill toward one another, an environment can be quickly created and easily maintained that fosters cooperation in all things.

Like anything that is planted in fertile soil, tended to, nourished, and fed regularly – shared goals for the future will over take and eventually crowd out all miscommunications, misunderstandings, and the resulting conflict in workplace.

Technorati Tags: Business Conflict, Conflict in Workplace, Conflict Strategies, Workplace Conflict Resolution

Here we are in the 21st. Century, a supposedly enlightened race who accept one another’s differences and uniqueness – biological, temperamental, ethnic, etc. with open arms.

And yet we see that around the world these very differences – those things about each of us that create such a richness and that should unite us into a more complete whole – are still being transformed into conflict and confrontation.

Rather than addressing the need for global conflict resolution – we are all aware of that if we have a television or read anything about what’s going on in every corner of the world, I suggest we start closer to home.

Workplace conflict resolution can be a do it yourself process whose effects are often felt far beyond the workplace.

Think about the results of a process dedicated to managing the differences between the people in your organization. Those whose behavior and attitude is changed will carry their new mindset forward into their homes, places of worship, and their communities at large.

Leaders outside your organization they come in contact with will see the obvious benefits of having more productive relationships through cooperation and they will take this “new” idea to an even wider, and wider, and wider universe of people.

So how can you transform your environment? Before any change can take place we must first recognize that there is a reason, an atmosphere, a problem worth spending the time doing something about. Just because something does not appear to be broken doesn’t mean it is operating ay 100%.

Every workplace that is made up of more than one person has employees with different personality styles, differing self-interests, and a set of priorities that are not the same as their colleagues or you. It is also likely that there are those with values different from you, whose cultural norms are not like yours and whose gender is different.

Over time this rich mix of people establishes, in the minds of everyone – the corporate culture, one that identifies who you are as an organization. In many competitive industries customers, when asked why they chose one vendor over another, said it was because they felt comfortable doing business with them. In other words they resonated with who your organization is – the person it looks like in the eyes of that customer.

That’s the good news. The bad news is that since the corporate culture was created by the passing of time and the coalescing of personalities and other characteristics, all by osmosis – there is no manual, no control panel where you can flip a switch to correct communications problems that may derail the company’s progress.

As new people join the organization they bring their own persona to be added to the mix. Often miscommunications and  misunderstandings result simply because they don’t yet understand the culture. Stereotyping of these new hires, based on prejudices and experiences of your existing employees may be the result. Or as the new hires attempt to ‘fit in” they may make comments which, like those made by the veteran employees – result in some level of conflict.

Not conflict in a guns blazing scorched earth sense – rather a creeping, discomforting, costly fog that will seep into every pore in the corporate culture unless stopped.

The types of conflict I refer to are tension that makes cooperation difficult, distrust resulting in the instant internal dialogue “what did she mean by that” rather than taking the communication at face value. Naturally resentment and even anger are part of the conflict equation. And there are many other emotions playing their parts in the workplace conflict melodrama.

What we all need, it seems to me, is an implant in the space between our ears and our mouth. The implant would have multiple functions. First it would keep our mouth shut when we hear something we would normally respond to in a negative unproductive way. The benefits of keeping a much larger percentage of our thoughts to ourselves can not be over stated.

The implant would the re-route the input to where we keep what little common sense we have. This is the first step in understanding more clearly what someone meant by what they said and possibly even why they said it. When you keep your mouth shut and give people the benefit of the doubt, you can stop 75% of the misunderstandings created by these comments from becoming a problem or conflict.

The next 24% can be handled between the two of you – clearing the air in a productive way so you both understand the point of view of the other. This is a simple to implement process that really doesn’t require any special knowledge or insight. Mostly it requires the desire of both people to work together more effectively.

What about the missing 1%? That’s what HR is for.

By Wayne D. Messick, Editor in Chief www.iBizResources.com Contact information: www.iBizResources.com/about.html

Technorati Tags: Business Conflict, Conflict in Workplace, Conflict Strategies, Workplace Conflict Resolution

As business owners we are often trapped by the unintended results of untested assumptions. After all we’ve been in business a while, maybe a long while, and we’ve been successful so far.

Often that only means we’ve guessed right about trends, our competitors, what products to stock etc. – more often than we’ve been wrong. What’s the expression, “It’s better to be lucky that good?”

Well when it comes to managing workplace conflict being lucky is all we often have going for us. What if our luck runs out?

Let’s say that everything seems OK, no confrontations and no harsh words so we assume everyone is happy and working at optimum effectiveness. So, using the time honored tradition of “letting sleeping dogs lie” you just go on your merry way.

Since the “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” rule is being applied the last thing you want to do is engage your managers and employees in honest communications. And you sure don’t want to try to institute a conflict resolution and management strategy. Hey, why rock the boat – things are fine the way they are.

However, every company has a conflict management strategy in place, on purpose of by default. In the default program you just assume that when there is no smoke there is no fire. This could be the death of your company and your happy home.

Here are three business killing problems that are the result of this unseen quiet conflict.

First are the costs associated with a gradual lowering of productivity and motivation. Rather than coming back from their car and opening the store when someone swings into the parking lot just after closing, they pretend they don’t see them and drive away – leaving the customer (or now ex-customer) fuming in the parking lot.

Instead of coming in early to meet a customer, skipping lunch so a package can be ready when the UPS driver makes his pick up, or volunteering to work after closing on the month end report. Subtle, “it’s not my job” feeling begin to spread around the business.

What is the cost of this to you, to them, your customers, etc.? How can the trend be reversed?

Second is the real money out of your pocket costs associated with employee theft, damage, or even vandalism. Someone leaves the keys in the back door “accidentally” and a bunch of kids trash the place.

One of your “trusted” employees leaves a truck in gear when they get out to check how close it is to the building, and it crashes into a customer’s car in the parking lot. Or someone “carelessly” mislabels an entire shipment that must be replaced and overnighted to the customer at great expense. i think you get the point.

Each of these examples could have been an accident or not. Each of them took money right out of your pocket.

Finally the worst possible scenario – decisions made by silently disgruntled managers. You may never know the actual cost. You trusted them to use their best judgement. You looked to them to investigate alternatives. You counted on them to put the company first. And if they didn’t you won’t know which decisions were flawed intentionally, even after the fact.

Decisions that drastically impact performance and profitability are often so buried in the labyrinth of actions that make up the steps leading to the final decision – the one you signed off on, that you’ll never know it.

So, what can you do?

Well you could buy a book, I know a couple of really good ones. You could do nothing, hope for the best and be willing to live with the results you’re achieving until something boils over so you can confront it. Or you can begin a campaign of communication between yourself and your managers and employees.

In my experience this simple, yet often difficult process is the first step. About 100% of the problems we’ve seen in the workplace are the result of assumptions and expectations about the present and future of the individual – based on mixed messages and untested assumptions arising from those mixed messages.

Lewis Carroll, in “Alice in Wonderland” said it perfectly, “I know you believe you understand what you
think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” It makes me wonder if he ever worked in the family business.

Open communications up and down the chain clear the air, establish real expectations and have the result of getting everybody on board.

The second step in the process is to get outside help, not advice – help from your peers. Other people like you in situations like yours and in your industry are the folks perfectly positioned to be a sounding board and an advocate. These peers will help you and you them as you all deal with the issues that will make a huge difference in your future.

Just because everybody seems happy, doesn’t mean there is no hidden deadly conflict brewing.

Technorati Tags: Business Conflict, Conflict in Workplace, Conflict Strategies, Workplace Conflict Resolution

Not the sort of workplace conflict that turns nice people into bar brawlers or food fight participants in the company cafeteria or neighborhood diner.

I’m talking about “double secret” conflict – the most damaging kind.

Why do I call it “double secret” workplace conflict? Because most conflict in workplace is misdiagnosed as bad people doing bad things to each other for some unknown reason.

Most of the time “double secret” workplace conflict is invisible to the naked eye.

People act nice toward one another and seem to be cooperating and doing what they’ve been tasked to do, but things never work out right, for no apparent reason.

Unresolved “double secret” conflict in workplace shows up in the results arising from it, such as poor business decisions. No matter how large or how small your organization the best decisions are those made jointly by the right people with the good of the whole as their sole motivation.

When one person feels that the only way they can “get back at” one of their team members or the organization in general – they may sabotage decisions, sometimes causing great harm.

By taking the attitude that their ideas are the only ones worth considering they force others to bend to their will. By delaying their own investigation into the alternatives they can put off decisions until they get their own way or until the decision is made without them – putting them in a prime “why didn’t you wait for my input” position if things go bad.

Look at your own organization – see how creative the other people are at manipulating you until they get their own way.

Another way that “double secret” conflict in workplace rears its ugly head is in turf wars and the dreaded NIH syndrome that is often displayed by the instigators. Turf wars are designed to keep people away from what’s yours. If they can’t get in and you can decide what gets out – they have to take your decisions at face value, whether they are accurate or disabling or not.

Business decisions made when only one person has access to the information upon which the decisions are based are flawed at best.

When the NIH syndrome is in place, ideas not invented here, are rejected out of hand. This may not look like conflict to you, if your vision of workplace conflict resembles the gunfight at the OK Corral, but it is just as deadly. When decisions are made based on untested assumptions they are rarely the best decisions possible.

The NIH syndrome insures that no one else’s input is considered – and the organization comes up the loser.

What should you do if you think there is “double secret” conflict in the workplace where you are? Most of you will probably continue to try to ignore it, put it down to other causes – things you can’t do anything about, so you won’t have to deal with it, or just figure it comes with the territory.

A few of you will look for a solution, but you will find them illusive – because you really can’t pinpoint a specific example and random poking around and generalizations only make people mad. The culprits go way under cover or fight back with such venom you’re sorry you ever thought it would work.

For those of you who are serious about dealing head on with “double secret” conflict in workplace, setting up programs or policies that offer workplace conflict resolution – well, you need help. By help I mean motivation – something people will pay attention to, like money, profit, additions to your bottom line – however you characterize the positive side of the ledger.

In other words you need to figure out how to quantify the loses resulting from “double secret” workplace conflict.  There are those in your organization who do not realize the role they are playing, others who would like to be noticed and taken into consideration in identifying the hidden conflict related issues, and those who sincerely do not want to be part of a productive team who need to be identified, so they can be replaced.

For two dozen years I have seen that the only thing that motivates the majority of organizations – moves them from tacit acquiescence of discomfort to an environment of total cooperation, is the money.

People must see the bottom line dollars and cents cost of the conflicts taking place before they will be willing to put up with the temporary discomfort of doing something about it.

Successful organization leaders understand that a key ingredient of success is the development and maintenance of shared goals for the future – shared by everyone in the organization. They also instinctively realize the stressful impact of workplace conflict, whether overt or covert, and appreciate how workplace conflict resolution strategies offer concrete savings to the individuals and the organization.

Technorati Tags: Business Conflict, Conflict Strategies, conlict in workplace, Workplace Conflict Resolution

A radio interviewer recently asked me if I thought there was more conflict in the workplace today than in the past. After thinking about it, I replied, “Yes, I think there is more conflict today.”

Here Are 3 Main Reasons Why There Is More Conflict In The Workplace Today Than In The Past:

1. Today’s workplace is much more egalitarian. We have flatter chains of command, dotted line relationships, and primarily knowledge workers who are capable of making decisions themselves and have the freedom to move on to another job if they don’t like the way they are being treated.

In prior years, the workplace consisted of a clear authoritarian structure and chain of command. Workers obeyed orders, kept their gripes and personal issues to themselves, and did their work. If they failed to perform effectively, they were immediately fired and replaced.

2. Today, people of all ages from all over the world have come to work together. They have different values, goals, behavioral expectations and prior experiences. Yet they are expected to work together without really understanding why all the misunderstandings between them occur.

3. Women are now in the workplace in equal numbers to their male counterparts. Generally speaking, women are much less accustomed to following a chain of command than men. Most men grow up participating in organized sports where they are taught how to obey. Although some women are now active in sports, many more grow up playing creative games that didn’t have any particular organization or chain of command. In games like house, girls take turns in varying roles.

Although we’ve come a long way towards understanding each other and working harmoniously together in the workplace, there are still behavioral differences in teasing, flirting, confronting, aggression and simple communication styles.

Solutions To Conflicts In The Workplace

Clearly, these workplace issues are here to stay. How can we handle them? How can we change certain elements? Here are some of my ideas:

Dealing with Different People in the Workplace

Your organization is going to continue to have people of all genders, ages, cultures, styles and expectations working together. You need to provide them with:

• A common culture with clearly defined behavioral expectations. This includes policy, procedures, statements of corporate values and culture – and the follow through to hold people accountable.

• Diversity training that teaches how to manage different people as well as how to get them to cooperate at meetings and other group forums. Your organization needs to delve into training. Trainers need to understand cognitive and communication styles, values around politeness and dealing with superiors, as well as issues of pride, humility, conformity and all the other differences that cause conflicts in the workplace.

• Acceptance and recognition of the differences, so your organization doesn’t try to have a “one size fits all” method of managing.

• More attempts to help each other clear up disagreements and misunderstandings – rather than passing judgment and deciding who is right and who is wrong.

Management Style and Hours Worked

When management creates a clear set of guidelines as to work expectations and measures success rather than time spent, it will be easier for people to know what to do because the parameters are clear. Here’s what your organization can do to avoid conflicts in the workplace related to management styles:

• Publish policy, procedures, values, expectations, and guidelines. Since there no longer is a supervisor with a whip looking over each worker’s shoulder, it is these documents that guide your employees’ behaviors.

• Managers need to learn how to correctly manage different individuals to enable each person to be successful. Some people need more instruction and others need to be left alone to create. Some are more trustworthy than others and can be relied upon to know their own limits and decision-making authority. Others need to be managed more tightly.

• The quality and the quantity of the work should be rewarded, not time. Managers need to stop the subtle and not-so-subtle remarks about not seeing a worker on a Saturday or early in the morning.

• Employees need to have flexible time whenever possible. Some jobs require attendance at set hours. Most do not. People with young children at home might want to go home for a few hours in the late afternoon and return either to work, or to their home computer after their children have been put to bed.

• Recognize that less is often more. If people get to relax, have a family life, recreation, and pleasure, they are almost always more productive and creative during their working time.

Although conflict is here to stay, it certainly can be mitigated by taking the needs and differences of people seriously and by teaching them about each other and how to work together. Stop being afraid and start being kind.

Technorati Tags: Conflict in Workplace, Workplace Conflict Resolution