This inevitable conflict is either destructive or creative. The destructive conflict is toxic to relationships and hurts people and organizations and this is the one that needs managing. In my experience creative conflict seems to be cultural in nature. It’s how the people themselves react and address each other and the situations they face together.

If you’ve ever seen “American Chopper” on the Discovery Channel you know what I mean by creative conflict. There is a lot of yelling going on. These guys are not shy about sharing their opinions when they disagree with one another. If you were a stranger who walked into their shop you might think WWIII had broken out.

In fact, that is how they relate to one another – there is no ambiguity, they tell it like it is in the moment. Imagine how much more they accomplish because they use the tension to air their different opinions, right now – and then get on with it. It’s possible that this is just a TV show and these guys have nice quiet meetings in the board room, listening to various committee reports, before the speak up, but that’s not likely. I bet they are who we see them as being.

In three decades working with family businesses I have seen dozens and dozens of companies who harness conflict creatively, and in so doing get the most out of everyone as well as optimum results overall. They don’t waste time on what’s not working just because it was the bosses idea. They stop what they’re doing and point out the other person’s mistake then show them how to fix it. Nothing and no one or their opinion is sacred – it’s all about getting the job done.

Sadly I have seen experts try to get them to change their behavior, be more polite to one another and offer more politically correct input in an ever more constructive manner. In other words they (the experts) want other people to be more like them.

So instead of helping their clients manage the destructive conflict that exists, they are offering suggestions on how to fix what isn’t broken.

I am talking about the conflict that distracts employees and managers from otherwise productive use of their time. Studies reveal that up to 30% of a typical managers time is spent dealing with conflict. And that 42 percent of their time is spent reaching agreements with others when conflicts occur.

Sometimes destructive conflict is simply because the people don’t like each other. In the universe of family owned companies sometimes brothers, sisters, cousins, and in-laws are thrown together in ways none of them like. Conflict is the only way they have of displaying the frustration they feel about the situation they’re in.

It is no wonder that an estimated 65% of performance problems result from strained relationships like these. Between employees who are not happy with each other – not from deficits in their training, skill, or motivation.

The most common way that destructive conflict shows up is about “how” a certain task should be accomplished. I met a farmer once whose son (age 50) refused to do things the way he wanted them done. He sited an example by driving me on the back of his four wheeler (you could not get there any other way) to a field that illustrated his point.

He and his father before him had always plowed the field north to south – his son was plowing it east to west. I am not making this up. It didn’t have anything to do with soil erosion, conservation, or the environment – he was doing it this way against his dad’s wishes, just to get his goat. And it was working.

I bet you can think of things at your company that are being done a certain way because that’s the way they’ve always been done. And if you’re the one who wants to change history, good luck!

Destructive conflict about how things are being done, what things are being done, and whether or not a certain thing should even be done can paralyze the organization.

Wasted time arguing about things that don’t matter, an unwillingness to consider another person’s point of view based on their experience, and the blame game when the results are in all cry out for a self-help process you can use to manage your differences so that all conflict is creative.

The end result of a successful self-help mediation process is that you (as a group) turn together and focus on the challenge or opportunity you all face. You see the problem as the stumbling block and not your coworker.

Self-help mediation tools allow two individuals the opportunity to discuss their assumptions about the other person’s motives. In many conflicts the simple process of testing these assumptions face to face using active listening skills will resolve the issue entirely, because the parties realize the conflict is simply a misunderstanding.

Self-help mediation tools pave the way for more effective decision making. Obviously decisions made under conditions of conflict are going to be inferior to decisions made when cooperation prevails. If ongoing conflict (even a low grade resistance to cooperation) is present between people who share decision-making authority, the resulting decisions are likely to be flawed by the power struggles between those people.

As business owners we know that good decisions must be based on an optimum quality and quantity of objective information. So when information is withheld or distorted by those we are depending on to provide it, the decision cannot be the best one possible.

There is now doubt, workplace conflict resolution strategies – especially those that will allow you to do it yourself – will save you money, time, energy, and enhance your workplace by helping you make better decisions, retain your best employees, and design a future course for the business everyone will actively support!

Wayne Messick’s web site http://www.iBizResources.com has many additional conflict resolution articles and strategic planning resources to help you grow your business. If you are a small business advisor and want to maximize your professional and financial potential, here are the resources we are using to systematically multiply our new business, our revenues, and our client’s satisfaction.

Recommended Reading

• Conflict in Workplace: Your Good People Quit
• Diversity. What does it Really Mean?
• What do you think you’re worth?
• How to Handle Backstabbers at Work: five keys to manage their bad behavior
• The Complete Guide to Conflict Resolution in the Workplace

Technorati Tags: Cost of Conflict, mediation works, workplace conflict

And nothing seems more difficult to productively address, until now.

According to Dan Dana, Ph.D., mediation consultant and principal of the Mediation Training Institute, “The vast majority – 99.999 percent or more of interpersonal conflicts that occur in the workplace — will be dealt with in the workplace, for better or worse. They’re not going to be referred to a mediation expert and they don’t need to be.”

These conflicts can also be carried to the dinner table when they involve family members in a family or privately-owned business, unfortunately affecting every aspect of peoples’ lives.

And yet we struggle on – either unwilling or unable to get a grip on the situation, have a meaningful dialogue, or do anything about it.

What we learned during our interview with Dr. Dana was that using conflict resolution techniques Dan has created and tweaked over the past thirty or so years, we can actually defuse major problems before they build to a point of no return and become angry, heated exchanges. During our telephone call with Dan we were taught that the most prevalent situations – two people in an interdependent situation (co-workers, partners, husbands & wives) that a simple four step process is all that’s required.

The process also works when a third party, such as a supervisor or manager, is part of the discussion.

And most importantly, when everyone in the organization embraces these principles – an atmosphere free of conflict emerges. The best possible situation.

Listen to the streaming audio recording of our interview so you can learn how to resolve conflicts through a series of simple steps that will help participants feel positive about the outcome. Listen to Dan’s valuable and practical tips that you can immediately implement in both your business and home life.

Dan Dana’s discussion is part of a monthly series of insightful interviews sponsored by Strategic Conversations co-creator, Henry Barbey.

Strategic Conversations is an interpersonal communication skill process designed to produce valuable, clear and meaningful conversations in your professional and personal interactions. Its application is wide-ranging, from business meetings and group process, to sensitive professional conversations, and highly charged emotional encounters.

Recommended Reading

• Conflict in Workplace: Your Good People Quit
• A Special Cost of Conflict Calculator Can Demonstrate The Urgency of Facing Workplace Conflict in The Company
• How to Deal with Difficult People at Work
• Do You Earnestly Believe That It’s The Apparent Workplace Conflict That’s Derailing Your Company’s Sales?
• The Complete Guide to Conflict Resolution in the Workplace

Technorati Tags: Cost of Conflict, mediation works, workplace conflict

Well when it comes to managing workplace conflict being lucky is all we often have going for us. What if our luck runs out?

Let’s say that everything seems OK, no confrontations and no harsh words so we assume everyone is happy and working at optimum effectiveness. So, using the time honored tradition of “letting sleeping dogs lie” you just go on your merry way.

Since the “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” rule is being applied the last thing you want to do is engage your managers and employees in honest communications. And you sure don’t want to try to institute a conflict resolution and management strategy. Hey, why rock the boat – things are fine the way they are.

However, every company has a conflict management strategy in place, on purpose of by default. In the default program you just assume that when there is no smoke there is no fire. This could be the death of your company and your happy home.

Here are three business killing problems that are the result of this unseen quiet conflict.

First are the costs associated with a gradual lowering of productivity and motivation. Rather than coming back from their car and opening the store when someone swings into the parking lot just after closing, they pretend they don’t see them and drive away – leaving the customer (or now ex-customer) fuming in the parking lot. Instead of coming in early to meet a customer, skipping lunch so a package can be ready when the UPS driver makes his pick up, or volunteering to work after closing on the month end report. Subtle, “it’s not my job” feeling begin to spread around the business. What is the cost of this to you, to them, your customers, etc.? How can the trend be reversed?

Second is the real money out of your pocket costs associated with employee theft, damage, or even vandalism. Someone leaves the keys in the back door “accidentally” and a bunch of kids trash the place. One of your “trusted” employees leaves a truck in gear when they get out to check how close it is to the building, and it crashes into a customer’s car in the parking lot. Or someone “carelessly” mislabels an entire shipment that must be replaced and overnighted to the customer at great expense. i think you get the point. Each of these examples could have been an accident or not. Each of them took money right out of your pocket.

Finally the worst possible scenario – decisions made by silently disgruntled managers. You may never know the actual cost. You trusted them to use their best judgement. You looked to them to investigate alternatives. You counted on them to put the company first. And if they didn’t you won’t know which decisions were flawed intentionally, even after the fact. Decisions that drastically impact performance and profitability are often so buried in the labyrinth of actions that make up the steps leading to the final decision – the one you signed off on, that you’ll never know it.

So, what can you do?

Well you could buy a book, I know a couple of really good ones. You could do nothing, hope for the best and be willing to live with the results you’re achieving until something boils over so you can confront it. Or you can begin a campaign of communication between yourself and your managers and employees.

In my experience this simple, yet often difficult process is the first step. About 100% of the problems we’ve seen in the workplace are the result of assumptions and expectations about the present and future of the individual – based on mixed messages and untested assumptions arising from those mixed messages.

Lewis Carroll, in “Alice in Wonderland” said it perfectly, “I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” It makes me wonder if he ever worked in the family business.

Open communications up and down the chain clear the air, establish real expectations and have the result of getting everybody on board.

The second step in the process is to get outside help, not advice – help from your peers. Other people like you in situations like yours and in your industry are the folks perfectly positioned to be a sounding board and an advocate. These peers will help you and you them as you all deal with the issues that will make a huge difference in your future.

So, just because everybody seems happy, doesn’t mean there is no hidden deadly conflict brewing.

Wayne Messick, Family Business Consultant and Peer Group Facilitator, is the publisher of http://www.iBizresources.com If you are a business owner wanting to leverage what you are already doing right visit the Peer Groups area of our web site. If you are a business advisor wanting to maximize your potential, here are the strategies we are using to generate 3/4 of our new business.

Recommended Reading

• Conflict in Workplace: Your Good People Quit
• A Special Cost of Conflict Calculator Can Demonstrate The Urgency of Facing Workplace Conflict in The Company
• How to Deal with Difficult People at Work
• Do You Earnestly Believe That It’s The Apparent Workplace Conflict That’s Derailing Your Company’s Sales?
• The Complete Guide to Conflict Resolution in the Workplace

Technorati Tags: Cost of Conflict, mediation works, workplace conflict

David’s dilemma made me think of Jennifer, who worked for two bosses, Blue and Green. Blue would give her an assignment to be completed by noon. Green would call five minutes later with another assignment – you guessed it – to be completed by lunchtime. Jennifer was stressed and frazzled all day long. We helped her negotiate with her internal customers – her management team – to set up a service delivery schedule that would be fair to everyone.

Whether your customers are internal or external, the key is to design consistent policies to avoid conflict. Here are some suggestions that worked for my clients.

1. Train your customers from the get-go.

Clients typically are nice people who have no clue about what it takes to deliver your service. For example, one client sent me a project, along with a ten-page single-spaced set of “notes.” When I called with a question, she asked, “Can’t you just read the notes?” I explained that I might spend an hour searching for the answer to my question — and I would have to charge accordingly. Sometimes clients will pay the fee as long as they get to remove themselves from the fray – but sometimes they’ll prefer to become more involved. It’s up to you to give them that choice.

2. Develop a conflict resolution plan before you need it.

As you face conflicting demands, develop a system so you won’t have to play referee every day. You can insist on 24 hours notice, command extra charges for rush jobs, or adhere strictly to first come, first served rules.

Working for a company? Get everyone to agree on a rule for setting priorities. Match your communication style to your organization’s culture. If nobody wants to negotiate, or if you’re working late on everybody’s projects (while the folks who assigned those projects left hours ago), your challenge becomes, “how to deal with unreasonable bosses.”

3. Design your promises ahead of time.

When a client’s on the phone, it’s so tempting to say, “You only want to pay X dollars? No problem.” Or you invite everyone in a class to send questions, which you promise to answer within 24 hours.

Off the phone, you realize you’ve just committed to an hourly rate that’s a fraction of your normal fee. (We’ve all done this at least once.) Either you deliver a half-baked solution or you put in lots of unpaid overtime. And either way, you’ll find yourself resenting the client and wondering why you got into this business in the first place.

Lessons learned: Conflicting demands? You’re not facing a time management challenge. You’re looking for a new strategy — a way to mesh your preferred working style with the needs of your clients – and a set of policies to protect you from your own generosity.

About The Author

Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., is an author, speaker and career/business consultant, who helps midlife professionals ceate their own mid-career makeovers. Your Next Move Ezine: Read one each week and watch your choices grow!
mailto:subscribe@cathygoodwin.com
http://www.cathygoodwin.com
http://www.movinglady.com
Contact: mailto:cathy@cathygoodwin.com

Recommended Reading

• Conflict in Workplace: Your Good People Quit
• A Special Cost of Conflict Calculator Can Demonstrate The Urgency of Facing Workplace Conflict in The Company
• How to Deal with Difficult People at Work
• Do You Earnestly Believe That It’s The Apparent Workplace Conflict That’s Derailing Your Company’s Sales?
• The Complete Guide to Conflict Resolution in the Workplace

Technorati Tags: cathy goodwin, Cost of Conflict, mediation works, workplace conflict

Things began to change rapidly however, after I became a mother of seven and a full time care-taker. Those who knew the ins and outs of my life continued to treat me with love and respect. I must say that unfortunately society on a whole was not as kind to a woman with seven young children. As a result I began to experience a decline in my self worth.

Every negative encounter would make me feel a lot worse. I had one of my worst encounters at the pinnacle of my sliding self worth. On that day I momentarily forgot the lessons taught me as a child: important lessons which included forgiveness, kindness and the greatest fruit of the spirit, which was love. The realization of this came to me after I started to reflect on a comment a woman at my daughter’s dance school made. She called my daughter “a little black girl.” Dance class was just finished for my three-year-old. Some of the mothers were having idle chatter in the hallway. Two other moms and I were changing our children’s clothes in a waiting room/ playroom. I was on one side of the room; the other mothers were on the other. One mother had a little boy and the other had a girl. The mother with the boy had him give the girl next to him a candy. It was Valentine’s Day and this was the customary thing to do. I was not cognizant of the events that followed. I did however, hear the little girl’s mother telling her child in a voice loud enough for me to hear, that my daughter was a little black girl. My daughter was very light skinned, enough so that the other child would not have been able to tell the difference between them.

I looked over in the women’s direction after the remark was made. The boy’s mother looked shocked. She then instructed her child to give my daughter a candy. The child walked over immediately and handed my daughter the candy. She thanked him and he walked back to his mother.
Strangely enough I was not even offended. I just continued doing what I was doing without the slightest change in my demeanor.

Just as I was about to walk out the door with my three children, the girl’s mother’s said to me, “Do you home school your daughter?”

I had my seven-year-old daughter and my fourteen-month-old son with me. “Yes,” I replied quite politely.

“How is that for you?” she questioned.

“Tedious at times but I need to spend time with her. When she was younger I had someone helping me with my children and I did not get to spend as much time with her.”

“Oh, you were working?”

“No. I never worked”, I said sharply.

“When I lived in South Africa I had a maid.” She was now on the defense.

The little boy’s mother tried to come to my defense at this point. “How could you expect her to work? She has three children.”

“No,” I said pointedly. “I have seven children. Three birth children and four adopted children.” I could tell that my response shocked the woman who had tried to come to my defense.

“There are seven children in the house?” she questioned. I did not respond. She took her son and left the room. The girl’s mother did not. She inquired about my adopted children’s mother. She then continued to tell me about a number of black women she came in contact with in South Africa. The women she talked about had numerous children. They were very poor and oppressed by their husbands. One woman who worked on this woman’s parents’ farm was tied up by her husband. She was then forced to watch on helplessly as her children starved to death. Another woman had eighteen pregnancies and only one child survived. Men had countless wives with many, many children. The families all had only one income. Her family, she stated, helped numerous black African women obtain sterilization at no cost to the women. On many occasions their husbands were unaware and their consent was not obtained.

As if the picture she was painting was not vivid enough she paused and asked, “Have you ever been to Africa?”

“No,” I replied and went on to tell her about some of the countries I had visited and some of the cultural problems I had encountered. Her response to what I was saying was that those were very common problems.

“Because something is common does not make it right. These kinds of behaviors have profound effects on people’s lives,” I said to her. I was more passionate about issues that directly involved children.

She frowned at me and said, “You can say that because you understand.” She took her child by the hand and exited the room. Her demeanor appeared rather unhappy. I must admit that I was confused. What was her point? Why be resentful of me? Was it because of all the sufferings she had seen in other black women lives and here I was living as leisurely as she? Did she interpret my silence as approval of her statement?

The silence was in my children’s best interest. The whole thing went over their heads. As we talked, her daughter ran around the room and played with my children. This could have been the whole reason for her unhappy appearance and her choosing to change her child on the other side of the room. It certainly did not have anything to do with candy but more to do with changing her child along side a black one. Her child did not fully get the message that day. Had I made a fuss both her daughter and mine would have learned the apartheid lesson.

I learned about her family background in the short exchange we had. I was more saddened than impressed. The remark she made to her daughter had somehow clouded my mind. I see my daughter, as being more than just another little black girl. She is a precious gift to me from God. God in His infinite wisdom created all of us for His enjoyment. How colorless the world would be if he had made it all green. We need to take responsibility for our folly. There was no benefit in poisoning the mind of our children all in the name of protecting them from other innocent children.

As I ponder over the events of that day it reminded of a poem I had written several years ago based on a similar experience that I had. I called the poem There’s More to me. It says:

When I am out there on my own,
No one knows about my home.
Some only care about the color of my skin,
And my knowledge doesn’t mean a thing.
They judge me by what they see,
And there’s no mention of the real me.

There’s more to me than meets the eye.
For I have a heavenly Father in the sky.
He even cares about the birds,
And in spite of what you’ve heard,
He knows my heart and very thoughts,
And all about the fights I’ve fought.

There was a lot more to my daughter. She was a little girl who can say that she was the pride and joy of both her parents. She was a child whose parents were willing to take time out to invest it in her. Yet on that day as her mother I felt I had to defend my position. I had also learned the lessons by which society sometimes judge us. Outwardly I was very controlled, but inwardly I was beginning to doubt myself worth. I had years earlier made a conscious decision to put aside my career in order to raise my family. Having a profession was as equally important to me as having a family. I did not expect to have had sacrifice one for the other. That woman’s words would have had very little effect on me if I had been able to come to terms with my new role in society. My precious role as a fulltime wife and mother was becoming obscure. I could not help but feel that I was being compared to those helpless women.

A lot has changed for me since that encounter. I am now a published author. I gleaned from all my emotions that resulted from my challenges. I used them to create a poetry collection. The poem “There is more to me” is also a part of that collection. Appropriately named “Fantasy/Controversy or My Reality,” the anthology was dedicated to hurting children everywhere. It is not only about adversity, but also the good, the bad, the happy and the sad. To continue my dream to make a difference in the lives of hurting children, a part of my royalties from this book will be contributed to agencies that provided services for abused children. For more information about this visit my web-site at http://home.earthlink.net/~rgarnes

About the Author

Ruth Andrews Garnes was born in Belize the second of six children. She moved to New York City at age eighteen. After studying nursing she worked in the emergency room in Bellevue Hospital.Having always had a heart for hurting children she adopted four sisters. Through her writings she hopes to be able to make a difference to hurting children everywhere by giving a voice to their struggles.

Recommended Reading

• Conflict in Workplace: Your Good People Quit
• What do you think you’re worth?
• How to Handle Backstabbers at Work: five keys to manage their bad behavior
• Workplace Conflict, is it Destructive or Creative?
• The Complete Guide to Conflict Resolution in the Workplace

Technorati Tags: Cost of Conflict, mediation works, workplace conflict

By that I mean someone who facilitates productive, meaningful discussion between others that results in deeper self-awareness, mutual understanding and workable solutions.I have used the term ‘conflict resolver’ intentionally to reinforce the idea that human resource professionals and managers are instrumental in ending disputes, regardless of whether they are also mediators.

These conflict management techniques are life skills that are useful in whatever setting you find yourself. With these skills, you can create environments that are respectful, collaborative and conducive to problem-solving. And, you’ll teach your employees to be proactive, by modeling successful conflict management behaviors.

1.UNDERSTAND THE EMPLOYEE’S NEEDS Since you’re the ‘go to person’ in your organization, it’s natural for you to jump right in to handle conflict. When an employee visits you to discuss a personality conflict, you assess a situation, determine the next steps and proceed until the problem is solved. But is that helpful?

When you take charge, the employee is relieved of his or her responsibility to find a solution. That leaves you to do the work around finding alternatives. And while you want to do what’s best for this person (and the organization), it’s important to ask what the employee wants first– whether it’s to vent, brainstorm solutions or get some coaching. Understand what the person entering your door wants by asking questions:

•How can I be most helpful to you?
•What are you hoping I will do?
•What do you see my role as in this matter?

2.ENGAGE IN COLLABORATIVE LISTENING

By now everyone has taken at least one active listening course so I won’t address the basic skills. Collaborative Listening takes those attending and discerning skills one step further. It recognizes that in listening each person has a job that supports the work of the other. The speaker’s job is to clearly express his or her thoughts, feelings and goals. The listener’s job is facilitating clarity; understanding and make the employee feel heard.

So what’s the difference? The distinction is acknowledgement. Your role is to help the employee gain a deeper understanding of her own interests and needs; to define concepts and words in a way that expresses her values (i.e. respect means something different to each one of us); and to make her feel acknowledged—someone sees things from her point of view.

Making an acknowledgement is tricky in corporate settings. Understandably, you want to help the employee but are mindful of the issues of corporate liability. You can acknowledge the employee even while safeguarding your company.

Simply put, acknowledgement does not mean agreement. It means letting the employee know that you can see how he got to his truth. It doesn’t mean taking sides with the employee or abandoning your corporate responsibilities. Acknowledgement can be the bridge across misperceptions. Engage in Collaborative Listening by:

•Help the employee to explore and be clear about his interests and goals

•Acknowledge her perspective

oI can see how you might see it that way.
oThat must be difficult for you.
oI understand that you feel _______ about this.

•Ask questions that probe for deeper understanding on both your parts:
oWhen you said x, what did you mean by that?
oIf y happens, what’s significant about that for you?
oWhat am I missing in understanding this from your perspective?

3.BE A GOOD TRANSMITTER

Messages transmitted from one person to the next are very powerful. Sometimes people have to hear it ‘from the horse’s mouth’. Other times, you’ll have to be the transmitter of good thoughts and feelings. Pick up those ‘gems’, those positive messages that flow when employees feel safe and heard in mediation, and present them to the other employee. Your progress will improve.

We’re all human. You know how easy it is to hold a grudge, or assign blame. Sharing gems appropriately can help each employee begin to shift their perceptions of the situation, and more importantly, of each other. To deliver polished gems, try to:

•Act soon after hearing the gem
•Paraphrase accurately so the words aren’t distorted
•Ask the listener if this is new information and if changes her stance
•Avoid expecting the employees to visibly demonstrate a ‘shift in stance’ (it happens internally and on their timetable, not ours)

4.RECOGNIZE POWER

Power is a dominant factor in mediation that raises many questions: What is it? Who has it? How to do you balance power? Assumptions about who is the ‘powerful one’ are easy to make and sometimes wrong. Skillful conflict resolvers recognize power dynamics in conflicts and are mindful about how to authentically manage them. You can recognize power by being aware that:

•Power is fluid and exchangeable
•Employees possess power over the content and their process (think of employees concerns as the water flowing into and being held by the container)
•Resolvers possess power over the mediation process ( their knowledge, wisdom, experience, and commitment form the container)
•Your roles as an HR professional and resolver will have a significant impact on power dynamics

5.BE OPTIMISTIC & RESILIENT

Agreeing to participate in mediation is an act of courage and hope. By participating, employees are conveying their belief in value of the relationship. They are also expressing their trust in you to be responsive to and supportive of our efforts. Employees may first communicate their anger, frustration, suffering, righteousness, regret, not their best hopes. You can inspire them to continue by being optimistic:

•Be positive about your experiences with mediation
•Hold their best wishes and hopes for the future
•Encourage them to work towards their hopes

Be Resilient. Remember the last time you were stuck in a conflict? You probably replayed the conversation in your mind over and over, thinking about different endings and scolding yourself. Employees get stuck, too. In fact, employees can become so worn down and apathetic about their conflict, especially a long-standing dispute; they’d do anything to end it. Yes, even agree with each other prematurely. Don’t let them settle. Mediation is about each employee getting their interest met. Be resilient:

•Be prepared to move yourself and the employees though productive and less productive cycles of the mediation
•Help the employees see their movement and progress
•Be mindful and appreciative of the hard work you all are doing

Hopefully, you’ve discovered that these are your own habits in one form or another and that your organization is benefiting from your knowledge. You can learn more about workplace mediation and mediation in general from these books and websites:

The Power of Mediation
Bringing Peace into the Room
Difficult Conversation: How to Say What Matters Most
www.ne-acr.org (The New England Association of Conflict Resolvers)
www.mediate.com (mediation portal site)
www.workwelltogether.com (conflict management toolkit)

“Mediation is based on a belief in the fundamental honesty of human
beings. Which is another way of saying we all want to be treated justly
– that is according to our unique situation and viewpoint on the world.
And we cannot expect to be treated justly if we do not honestly reveal
ourselves.” ~ the Honourable Neville Chamberlain, British Prime Minister 1937

About the Author

Dina Beach Lynch, Esq. is a mediator and conflict coach who launched WorkWellTogether.com Formerly Dina was Ombuds for Fleet Bank where she assisted 48,000 employees to resolve work tensions. Dina can be reached at Dina@workwelltogether.com

Recommended Reading

• Conflict in Workplace: Your Good People Quit
• What do you think you’re worth?
• How to Handle Backstabbers at Work: five keys to manage their bad behavior
• Workplace Conflict, is it Destructive or Creative?
• The Complete Guide to Conflict Resolution in the Workplace

Technorati Tags: beach lynch, dina, mediation works