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How To Handle Conflict In A Relationship
By Porche Reingold
It does not matter whether you are dating, newlyweds, or a couple that has been married for years. Conflicts will inevitably occur in relationships, and healthy conflicts are a sign of a healthy relationship. Many of us refuse to engage in healthy conflict, however, insisting instead that we are right and the other person wrong in the strongest possible terms. This type of black-and-white view must be avoided in order to maintain a healthy and stable relationship.
The first step in handling is knowing what your buttons are, and those of your spouse or partner. Most people will have in one of three big areas, finances, sex, and raising kids. When these important topics come up (and they inevitably will) it is important that both of the participants in the discussion be aware that this area has a long history of causing in the relationship, and begin the discussion with the resolve to try and see the other person’s point of view and present your own in a logical manner.
When arises, avoid negating the other person’s point of view. Do not take the stance of “I just know”. Try to demonstrate why it is you think what you are stating, and listen carefully when your partner offers a rebuttal. Demonstrate that you have listened to what they have to say by repeating some of their statement.
Try to stay on topic- that is, discussing the immediate problem- as much as possible. Try not to make blanket statements such as “You always do this” or other harmful
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